Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
