Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize