who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
