Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
