don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
