So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
