and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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