Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
