Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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