I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
