Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
