Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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