Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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