I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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