"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I'm really busy with my period
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
