There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
