like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.