i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
