I'm retarded. Again.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.