Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night