We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.