Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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