dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with