Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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