I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
