do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize