What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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