Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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