I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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