Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
