My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
