We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This toilet bowl is my home.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
