went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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