last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
