Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cut my penus on the lid.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
