I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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