I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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