Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
