Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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