I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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