Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
