I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
