summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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