weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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