how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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