There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
