I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
