i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Can I color on your dick again?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
