I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
