I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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