Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
