Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
