Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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