i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
