i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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