dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
