she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
