I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
