you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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