when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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