i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you never un-have a 4some
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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