i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
