If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
