hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
