I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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