I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
