I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
