the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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