you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
