I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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