Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize