margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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